


Betrayal

by MoodyMuddy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempted Murder, F/M, Mental Anguish, Romance, Ron Weasley Bashing, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 08:29:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17825357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoodyMuddy/pseuds/MoodyMuddy
Summary: Hermione tells Ron the truth of how she feels





	Betrayal

The water is so clear. It looks like crystal 

The thought flitted through my mind as my gaze alighted on the water in the fountain. Why do we think of the most mundane things in times of stress? I was sat on the stone surrond of a large, ornate fountain. Don't ask me where it was as that day has become somewhat of a blur to me. A good thing I assure you, dear reader. I had just told my fiance, Ron Weasely, that I was leaving him.

I assume, dear reader, that you are asking why the day has become blurred in my memories? It is because that was the day I felt the sharp sting of betrayal. The day I nearly died. I do not wish to remember that day but maybe, just maybe, if I commit the memories to paper they may cease to bother me so much.

As I have already said I had just told Ron I was leaving him. He stared at me with shock visible in his green eyes as he asked me “why?”

Why indeed? How could I possibly explain to him that no longer was I his. That no longer was I the Hermione Granger he had known throughout our teenage years. I have changed. Change is always envitable but having had to fight a war during the time when I should have been getting used to the changes in my body I think now I can no longer be his Hermione. Another reason..though one I should not readily admit to is that after being marked by Bellatrix Black I am now hers. This I can't explain it is just how I feel.

I can still remember the sting of her dagger and the red hot pain as her blade bit into my flesh over and over again until she had finished carving the word 'mudblood' into my arm. It was complete agony yet at the same time I felt..something. Being a virgin still it took me awhile to place the feeling but then I realised it was lust. Sexual desire for her; for Bellatrix.

I was shocked to find I like pain but not so much to find not only did I lust after a woman but to find that woman was Bellatrix Lestrange. I first found I lusted after Bellatrix when I was fifteen and saw her picture in The Daily Prophet. She was in shackles and screeching at the camera from her cell at Azkaban. Even with all the grime and that shapeless sheath they had dressed her in I could see the beauty beneath. When I first met her she had been cleaned up and healed..the results were breathtaking. But to her I was just one more mudblood girl. Over the years I longed, secretly, to go to her and confess how I felt but I daren't. I knew I would be signing my own death certificate if I did that. But oh how I longed for her touch. 

Even now just remembering how she had straddled me when she carved 'mudblood' into my arm, her hips pressing against mine has me feeling the hot burn of lust in the pit of my stomach and the resulting hot wetness between my thighs. For her yet never had I felt this way about Ron. Some nights I reall the feeling of her straddling me as I touch myself; as I slowly draw small intricate patterns over the hardening nub of my clit before dipping first one two fingers inside myself and slowly fucking myself to climax, the whole time imagining it was Bellatrix doing that to me. 

 

Oh how Dumbledore and Mcgonagoll plus my friends would have looked aghast if they had ever found out my secret desires. 

I cannot fully explain to myself let alone to Ron why . I do not understand why I am so attracted to Bellatrix. I do, however, know partl why I cannot be with Ron anymore. Where was he when I needed him? I was kidnapped and tortured for days yet did he come to rescue me? The woman he professes to love. No he did not even try. I look up at him with my brown eyes full of apology. It wasn't enough though.

He lunged at me then and knocked me back into the water of the fountain, holding me under despite my struggles. The desire to breathe felt like my lungs were on fire. I felt that they would surely burst if I did not breathe. I knew that to open my mouth whilst under the water was to dance with death yet I could not stop myself from doing just that. Opening my mouth mouth I gasped for air but only succeeded in inhaling water down into my lungs. As I started to drown I flailed my arms and my legs as much as possible and succeeded in somehow managing to kick Ron away from me.

I sat up and just sat gasping for air before raising my eyes to look at him. The man I had once loved looked back at me with a tear sodden expression of anguish. I saw his lips move as he poke but with my ears being clogged with water I could not hear what he said to me.

Because of his next actions, dear reader, I can only assume Ron had said something like 'if I can't have you then no one will'.

As he was speaking I looked away as more hacking coughs racked my body. But, seeing a glinting out of the corner of my eye, I looked up to see Ron lunging at me with a dagger. I tried to scream for help but my voice was frozen in my throat.

All I could do was stand on shaky legs and try to run. I had lost my wand beneath the waters of the fountain so my only option was to run. Unfortunately my legs were too unsteady to carry me and I fell to the pavement with a sickening crunch. I could not tell what was broken, I did not even have the luxury of waiting for the pain to pass before trying to move. I had to get away. I had to get away from Ron.

I looked over my shoulder to see he was nearly upon me and I moved as fast as I could, a sob coming from my throat as I did. My fastest pace unfortunately was more of a crawl on my stomach.

I was not quick enough. I felt a sharp pain as Ron bought the dagger down onto my thigh. The cut felt deep enough to sever my leg but I could still feel the pain so I knew it was not bad enough to do any major damage to me. I curled myself into the foetal position and hoped he would leave me alone. But he did not. Instead he kicked me repeatedly. His targets were my back and my stomach. With a louder sob I kicked him away and turned so I was facing him as I tried to scuttle backwards. He brandished the dagger high above his head as he came towards me.

I closed my eyes and I screamed. I opened them again when I heard a clatter of metal striking pavement. Looking up I saw Ron with his anguish clear on his face. He sobbed out that he annot do it, he cannot kill me before sinking to his knees with a bent back as he looked at the pavement. He looked so defeated. Looking at him I couldn't believe he had just tried to kill me. The man I thought I had known, the man I had been planning on marrying was now a stranger to me. With a strangled sob I gained my feet then raced away from him, I was too scared to try talking to him again.That was the last time I saw him. It has been two years since that day and yet I can never get over the betrayal. I bare the physical mark on my thigh of his rage yet it is the psychological scars that have done the most damage. Not since that night have I had a good nights sleep. Always I wake with a scream and a thin film of sweat covering my body. Perhaps in time the torture of that betrayal will at least lessen but for now I must try to live while not really living at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this in July 2012, but until today had lost it again. I'm unsure if I can continue this story, but if I do my style of writing has since changed.


End file.
